Chrysalis Healing and Coaching
Shopping Cart
Your Cart is Empty
Quantity:
Subtotal
Taxes
Shipping
Total
My Blog
Blog
Transforming Victim to Survivor
| Posted on March 27, 2017 at 1:49 PM |
 You have the power to get out of the well one step at a time The other day while doing some research I came across this
fable which really spoke to my heart. The Farmer’s Donkey One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. The animal
cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out a way to get him
out. Finally he decided it was probably impossible and the animal was old and
the well was dry anyway, so it just wasn’t
worth it to try and get the donkey out.
So the farmer asked his neighbors to come over and help him cover up the well.
They all grabbed shovels and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first when
the donkey realized what was happening he cried horribly. Then, to everyone’s
amazement he quieted down and let out some happy brays. A few shovels later,
the farmer looked down the well to see what was happening and was astonished at
what he saw. With every shovel of dirt
that hit his back, the donkey was shaking it off and taking a step up. As the farmer’s neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the donkey, he continued to shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon to every one’s amazement the
donkey stepped over the edge of the well and trotted off. Morale The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and
take a step up Each one of our troubles is a stepping stone What happens to you isn’t nearly as important as how you
react to it. Author Unknown How do you react to adversity? Do you become a victim or are
you a survivor shaking adversity off? Perhaps you don’t even realize you are playing the victim
role. For years, I played the victim
role without being aware of it. The first step is awareness. Once you are aware
that you are playing the victim role then you can take further action
transforming from victim to survivor. Signs that you are playing the victim role Blaming others for
your pain I used to blame everyone and everything else for my pain and
suffering – “ it’s not my fault if only
I had been raised by better parents” in the
long term those feelings led to feeling powerless and helpless. Failure to accept
responsibility You have the power to choose how you react to adversity you
can’t control the cards that are dealt to you in life but you can control how
you play them. Take responsibility for
yourself. You alone decide how you react to adversity. Feeling helpless Find the source of your learned helplessness - most likely experienced
in childhood or early adulthood. I was raised in a dysfunctional environment that fostered
dependence rather than confidence. Take some time to reflect and write on the source of your
learned helplessness. Focusing on problems The more you focus on
a problem you will attract more of it into your life. Rather than focus on the
problem search for solutions than will best work for you. You may need therapy
or a coach to guide you with your journey. Lack of boundaries Learn to create and maintain healthy boundaries. A boundary is a clear communication that respects yourself
and others based on your values, rules and limitations. One boundary that I have set for myself is
not spend time with people who bring me down. I surround myself with positive
people. Self-Sabotage Victims tend to undermine or sabotage their own happiness
and success. Control is the root of self-sabotage in victims. Victims believe when things are going well
that disaster is just around the corner. I would never allow myself to be happy
for long periods of time as unconsciously I was sure disaster was not far off.
I did not feel worthy of happiness. Brene
Brown calls it “deep foreboding” disaster is always lurking around the corner
and most intense when things are going well. Disaster is coming and the victim
wants to be in control so when that disaster strikes he is prepared. The victim
undermines his own joy and success with self-destructive behaviour. Give up your need for control and focus on gratitude daily and
enjoy all your blessings. Keep a gratitude journal to write in about all the things
you are grateful for. Get out of your head space and participate in random acts of
kindness. Helping another person/community will help empower yourself. The
realization of the positive impact on another can positively influence your own
life. Lack of
Self-Confidence Victims tend to struggle with low self confidence. Not everyone is born self-confident. Self-confidence
can be learned and improved upon. Always dress and act confident eventually
your internal state will catch up and begin to match your external state. Set
up small achievable goals to work towards, your self-confidence will increase
with each attained goal. Forgiveness and
Compassion Finally, forgiveness
is about you not your perpetrator. Forgiveness does not mean that you excuse
the wrong. It’s about your response to
the pain inflicted on you. Transform the pain to compassion and empathy for the
other. Find your inner strength to get past your pain to find inner peace and
freedom so you may move on with your life. Once you forgive healing can truly take place.
Don’t forget to forgive and have
compassion for yourself as well. |
Categories: Change
Post a Comment
Oops!
The words you entered did not match the given text. Please try again.
31 Comments
Reply
essay writers australia
5:55 AM on August 16, 2018
I have also read the same story a while ago but it was not well detailed like you have been talking about in this post. It surely seems to be something that is interesting for person that is interested in history.
Reply
need resume help
9:01 AM on October 23, 2018
The line "What happens to you isn’t nearly as important as how you react to it," is really inspiring. I believe that if it won't matter in 5 years, then do not spend more than 5 minutes worrying about it now. And in contrary, I do not really like those people who act as if they are the victim. Putting the blame on other people for our incompetence is extremely awful. You should learn to own your mistakes and learn from it.
Reply
cheap writing essay australia
10:10 AM on February 17, 2019
It's a nice article. I would like to discuss this topic with you. If that's possible.
Reply
hollywood jackets
9:55 AM on May 23, 2019
Wow! I’m browsing away perusing your web journal from my lap! Simply needed to say I adore perusing your website and anticipate every one of your posts! Carry on the eminent work.Feel free to browse for getting more information about writing work
Reply
Baby Driver Celebrities Outfit
5:08 AM on May 29, 2019
yes I appreciate your question & this idea. The idea makes it easy for the public to approach a valid resources for solving their problem. I have a business of mens Coats and Jackets Collectionfor the business men & salaried person public can find this idea helpful for their life.
Reply
Achievements & Awards Sami
7:09 AM on May 31, 2019
I read the article you shared, it was awesome and left a deep impression on me, thank you for sharing this great article and meaning.
Reply
Patricia A. Warner
7:37 AM on June 26, 2019
Furthermore, understanding leadership styles is also a powerful method to enhance leadership qualities. When setting your organisational goals, consider the leadership styles you believe will facilitate your goals CLIK HERE
.
.
Reply
latest hollywood jacket
10:14 AM on July 4, 2019
The article has genuinely peaks my interest. I’m going to bookmark your web page and maintain checking for new details. I am looking for some good blog sites for studying. I was searching over search engines and found your blog site.
Reply
assignment help
2:17 PM on August 3, 2019
Epson Printer Support is available round the clock to resolve your printer problems. If you face any problem with your Epson printer device like device is not working properly, cable problem, cartage problem, blank screen and others then contact at Epson Support and resolve your issue in no time.
Reply
proassignmenthelp
10:35 AM on August 9, 2019
Here I am sharing a very useful resource for students looking for assignment help. Yes it is Proassignmenthelp providing all sort of assignment writing in various subjects like as : Electrical engineering assignment help , electronics assignment help , MATLAB assignment help , management assignment help , etc.
Reply
best exercise for weight loss
7:55 AM on August 15, 2019
They may not know how to answer or help you. Give them time to process what you tell them. It is also important to inform them about your specific eating disorder.
Reply
myassignmentmart
5:08 PM on September 5, 2019
In todays busy world you took out to invest some time as and shared this with us to help others. I also help students in their studies by sharing and providing them Nursing Assignment Help , Electrical Engineering Assignment Help, Programming Assignment Help , Management Assignment Help , Law Assignment Help
Reply
MATLAB solutions
4:12 AM on September 19, 2019
It’s good to share information with others. I am also sharing something very important for students seeking MATLAB Assignment Help. Visit MatlabSolutions and get best assistance in your MATLAB, Simulink Assignments and Projects.
You can also get CDR Report Engineers Australia if you look to immigrate to Australia.
You can also get CDR Report Engineers Australia if you look to immigrate to Australia.
Reply
myassignmentmart
10:43 AM on September 25, 2019
Sharing information with others is good. I also want to share some good links for students all across the world. There is a team providing assignment help , which includes writing help service in different subjects. Like as Mechanical Engineering Assignment Help , Electronics Engineering Assignment Help, MATLAB Assignment Help , Civil Engineering Assignment Help , Computer Science Assignment Help
Reply
piknu
8:25 AM on December 5, 2019
I am so happy to read this post corrective skin care purchasing tip. Thanks. Watching many mermazing videos on instagram, please go to site piknu to do it.
Reply
township boosters
12:24 PM on December 23, 2019
There is a different way to earn Tcash. You can get Tcash by completing various achievements, in crates, or by completing collections of artifacts.
Reply
stabene.net
5:20 PM on December 26, 2019
A more appreciating blog! Great internet site! It looks extremely good! Maintain a good job!| you are rocking man…!
Reply
township sb game hacker
1:20 PM on January 7, 2020
After you download the Apk file to your mobile phone, you can install and use it.
Oops!
Oops, you forgot something.